The oracular beard with Jared Conti

By Jared Conti in Arts & Entertainment

October 27, 2011


Jared Conti/Eagle Eye

For my final installment of The Oracular Beard this spooky month of October, I got a little crazy. A little birdie on the interwebs told me awhile back that the powers that be were releasing Ghostbusters in the theaters again. Not some George Lucas prequel or deleted scene heyday, but the real deal. It was only showing Thursdays in October, and the closest I could get to see it was in Pittsburgh, but a nice road trip with some awesome local food topped off by a screening of one of my favorite films really made my month scarily good. Are you ready to believe me?

Remember, folks: The bigger the beard, the better the rating!


Okay, so I may be dating myself a little, but Ghostbusters was one of five movies I continually watched growing up, and it rarely made it out of the Betamax (dating myself again). Though I’ve probably seen it a dozen or more times since my childhood, seeing it on the big screen was the main draw in and of itself.

Ghostbusters is one of those movies that I’ve become so accustomed to watching, that I don’t really watch it anymore. Either you throw it in the DVD player and are always doing something else that you don’t see it for what it is, or worse, you catch it on basic cable and you take all the little swears out.

Those are what make it fun; I wasn’t sup- posed to say that stuff as a kid, and now that I’m all grown up, they’ve lost their luster.

Seeing it in the dark with a hundred or so complete strangers brought the appeal of the movie back to me. There was no pausing to get a snack or making a bathroom, you paid for this movie, now stick it out!

We all knew how the movie went, and it was fun to hear people quoting favorite lines and clapping during favorite parts. The best time I had was when I was caught off-guard by something as mundane as the scene where Dr. Venkman made the EPA guy say please. This movie taught me my swears and my manners.

Facial Hair Rating: MY beard. I’ve grown into it, just like I grew up with the Ghostbusters.

Jared Conti/Eagle Eye

Ghostbusters: The Return

Ten years or so after the events of the film, the Ghostbusters are struggling to get by. They’ve gone bankrupt three times now, and Ray has lost his child- hood home to the bank. The supernatural entities are still around, but the boys aren’t in business like they used to be.

There’s some creepiness going down, howev-er, and Xanthador, Lord of fear, is behind it. Fueled by fear, Xanthador relies on the ghosts of urban legends to reign terror upon New York City and hopes to conquer the world with his schemes.

There are parts that are spot-on: voice, characterization…even the way they describe the equipment that our boys use to fight ghosts. The goofiness and unbelievability of what it is the Ghostbusters do is made real in its fictionaliza- tion, and it really hits home with the care Fisch takes for these characters.

Yet even with a plot and loveable characters, the sheer intensity of the camp makes this book downright horrific at times. I think I should have watched the second movie again, and maybe some of the cartoon before I read this.

There’s no real build-up in the threat, even when all the haunting are run from the same villain. Xanthador’s minion, Geezil, is just there as comic relief, but no one seems to get the joke. Much better than the second movie, but you don’t have to pander to me to make me wanna read your books.

Facial Hair Rating: That guy who thinks he can grow a goatee, but the moustache doesn’t connect with the rest of the chin. 

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