Drive-thru life: Proving walking is obsolete

By Sarah Eckrich
Overly-Opinioned Writer

April 1st, 2013

Annually, almost 250,000 people fall victim to a daily activity that the government would like us to believe is safe. It happens between classes, on stairs, and in inclement weather. And it opens everyone up to a world of danger.

I’m talking about driving’s “safer” alternative, obesity’s enemy, and job security for show manufacturers—walking. It’s an archaic form of travel that we conquered when rulers began paying peasants to carry them in rickshaws, when we learned to ride horses and subsequently make them pull carriages, and with the invention of the beloved automobile.

My car takes a crack in the road or a pothole much better than my ankle, which does the same thing my tires do—bounce and roll (tires should do this and ankles shouldn’t). My car doesn’t drive on stairs, so there’s no room for an accident there. My car can handle the weight of my laptop and school books far better than my back and bad knees, knees which, I might add, would be in fine shape if it wasn’t for all the taxing walking I’m forced to do.

Injuring yourself walking bleeds into the rest of your life, too. For example, if I roll my ankle, how am I supposed to run on a treadmill when I drive to the gym to get in shape? If I pull a muscle, a whole array of exercise techniques get chucked out the window for who knows how long. Then depression sets in, and you gain weight. It can quickly escalate into a nightmarish reality.

It’s not a once-in-a-while thing either. We are expected to do this every single day, no matter how bad we feel or how dangerous the weather. That’s some mail carrier nonsense. I didn’t sign up to keep going rain or shine. If I wanted to walk no matter the weather or the distance, I wouldn’t own a car or have my driver’s license.

We pay for those stupid plastic face cards, too. If I’m going to pay for the privilege to drive, I should be able to drive anywhere. Walking is free, and yet pedestrians get the most space to roam. They even have preference over cars when it comes to the law. Maybe we could generate a little extra revenue taxing these freeloaders.

There’s no reason I should ever have to lift my legs off my shag seat cover to go anywhere. They’ve already made food accessible to people who would rather not get out of their cars. Some places exist where you can get all types of grocery and small items at drive-thrus. You don’t even have to wash your own car anymore. I can pay for my car to get a bath. I don’t see any part of Sheetz that has a people wash.

It’s time to move into the 21st century with drive-in classes, lanes for cars in the grocery store, and drive-thru bars. Cut your body a break; choose driving.


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