Inhaling in high altitudes

By Bill Whale
Large Aquatic Mammal

April 1st, 2013

Marijuana is budding in popularity among the students of LHU, but who would have thought that it would have gone this far?

The first dorm to fill with students for the upcoming semester was High Hall, sparking an inquiry as to why anyone would pick High Hall over a more easily accessible hall.

High hall seems to be unusually popular with upperclassmen.

Sophomore, Max Green, majoring in Recreation Management, said, “Dude, how could not live in High Hall. Get it? High Hall!” before turning to his friend, laughing hysterically, slobbering a bit, and wincing through his obviously bloodshot eyes.

His point is that of a simpleton, but is the laughable name worth the painstaking stairs?

When asked that exact question, new student Stephen King, gave the shocking answer, “Yeah, I would say so! I want the highest room on campus! Literally and figuratively. I feel like that’s where my best inspiration will come from.”

Supposing the average “pothead” living in High Hall is more insightful than the rest of the campus, they’re welcome to fill up the inconveniently-placed resident hall while freeing up room for students across campus who prefer rooms at a lower altitude.

Bill Whale is beached. You cannot contact him.The Eagle Eye extends their condolences. 


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