Secret society gonna kidnap Brantley Gilbert

By Angela Fries
Always Sick

April 1st, 2013

Lock Haven’s secret society, the ‘Glamourati,’ is rumored to pull a prank at this year’s spring concert.

The Glamourati was established in 1892 by the highest ranking members of the Lock Haven community. Their motto is “Mellores sumus Uobis” which is Latin and means “We are better than you.”

The Glamourati is not a group to be messed with on campus. Although no one knows who they are, their name in and of itself brings chills to most students’ spines.

“I heard that someone in the student government crossed a member of the Glamourati,” said Meghan Dashe. “It’s really difficult to tell for sure because no one really knows who is in the Glamourati.”

This rumor has been flying around campus. There is one other rumor that has been on the lips of professors and students alike.

“I heard that they are planning on kidnapping Brantley Gilbert,” said Kayla Marsh. “He’s hot and has a lot of money and everyone knows the Glamourati thinks everyone owes them something and Gilbert isn’t an exception.”

Lock Haven has already had enough problems hiring entertainment for the spring concert. The responsibility of finding the entertainment for the spring concert falls on the student government.

If the rumors surrounding the Glamourati are true, this kidnapping of Brantley Gilbert would be a double whammy. Not only would the Glamourati become even more feared, they would get their revenge on the student government.

Graffiti has recently appeared on buildings around campus depicting the image of a yellow Rolls Royce covered with glitter.

This is believed to be the insignia of the Glamourati and any marked building is considered to be under the watch of the society. The building may subsequently be converted into an exclusive polo club, complete with a stone-faced doorman who will refuse admittance to anyone who is not already inside.

Who exactly populates the club remains unknown for the fact that no one can enter the building. A report of a student gaining access to a converted building by way of a back door several years ago, was believed to be true.

However, upon exiting, several days later, the student refused to comment to anyone on his experience and reacted violently whenever someone spoke of gold wristwatches. The student then left school and proceeded to start his own business, selling prunes in Uruguay.

The next day, the doorman was gone, the graffiti tag had been removed and the function of the building continued as per usual.

It is speculated the Glamourati will take Gilbert to one of the marked buildings.

All we can do is wait and see.

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