It’s that time of year, the season of candy, costumes and carnivorous beasts. That time when even the most cowardly dare to dip their toes in the cesspool of gore and second-rate acting that is the horror movie genre.
Of course it’s all fun and spooky until the credits roll and you’re left in the dark of the night with the chances of an axe murderer in your closet suddenly skyrocketing. Hey, I’ve been there! I can’t tell you how many times I end up watching or reading something scary while at home alone and suddenly hear footsteps coming from the empty kitchen inspiring my heart into a career as a drummer.
Not surprisingly, dispelling the fear fever of a good scary movie is easier said than done, but I’m here to give you some helpful tricks and treats to fight off those inner monsters.
Don’t investigate that peculiar sound coming from the kitchen. Turn up the TV, wrap yourself in a blanket, establish that you’re in a “safe spot” and do anything that is the opposite of what a character would do in a horror movie.
Release your inner siren!
Listen to some Disney songs and sing-along obnoxiously loud, it will make you feel ten times better and any axe murder/monster/creature of the night will avoid your atrocious singing.
Start cackling like a witch!
Watch some comedies whether it be movies, standup or cartoons. The sooner you’re laughing the sooner you can go to sleep without worry of the nightmare that lurks under your bed.
Embrace your inner Slimer and eat everything!
Seriously eat. Once you’ve built up the courage to move go get some grub you’ll feel fine, because studies show that chewing/eating actually calms you down. So go to town on that candy corn!
It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this!
Grab some improvised weaponry whether it is a rolling pin, bat or spoon. This is really useful, especially when you’ve mapped out a technical plan of escape if zombies or evil clowns attack.
Horror movies are a great treat for Halloween, but you have to live with the rancid taste of fear for an indeterminable period afterwards so take precautions.