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The Vault: Why you should play “Outside”

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Remember Space Jam? Remember Star Fox? Remember those treasures locked away in a dusty vault of nostalgia? Well we’re here to pull them out again, because let’s face it some of us college students are poor and can’t afford the new game or movie ticket.

Mary Jones
Columnist
mej102@lhup.edu
14260934918z6fm

morgufile.com

Within the dark recesses of the vault, behind the excellence that is the oldest of video games, is the oldest of all video games, “Outside”.

“Outside”, an RPG/Simulator, is the oldest game, being published in 197, 985 B.C by Evolution, Inc., and it was one of the most widely played games for years after. It was so popular, many mothers would be quoted telling their kids to go play “Outside”. But why should you bother playing such an old game? Here’s why!

The Graphics

For being such an old game, “Outside” has the most realistic graphics to date, surpassing even those being released now on the Playstation 4, Xbox One, and Personal Computer. The graphics are actually so realistic that many people mistake the game “Outside” to be real.

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There are some people who do complain that the graphics are blurry or fuzzy, but a simple visit to the eye doctors and a pair of glasses or contacts will fix that right away.

Predecessor to current popular games

While not many people play “Outside” anymore, there are plenty of other popular games being released today, such as “The Sims”, that “Outside” would be the predecessor and inspiration of. The differences between “Outside” and “The Sims” are countless, though, in the fact that there is more to do when playing “Outside”, there are no loading screens, and the NPCs are even more unpredictable then they are in “The Sims”!

Be warned, though, playing “Outside” with cheats could result in making the game a lot less fun then it would in “The Sims”.

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It’s “Outside”

“Outside” is a classic game that almost everyone who has played it has enjoyed. It’s great for taking a break from studying, can be very refreshing, and can be played almost everywhere. Like many popular games now days, it is open world, allowing you to roam wherever you like. There are certain places you have to unlock, though. Ways to unlock different places include gaining the driving skill or paying to travel to those places. However, if you don’t have the money or the driving skill, there are still many things to do in the places you have already unlocked. There is no leveling up, and no required linear plot, but these freedoms could serve to make the game even more enjoyable.

There are certain times that playing “Outside” is not a good idea. Those times should be painfully obvious.

You can find “Outside” anywhere for free. Enjoy!

*This article is a completely satirical piece*

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